God's story of love, redemption and adoption through our family unfolds each and every day, as we go places as a family that we never thought we'd go! I love to read Dr. Seuss' book Oh, The Places You Will Go with our boys. It is a classic book with so many layers for not only children but also adults, so it feels like the appropriate theme to share with you our experiences as a family, since we have been home with Asher for the last 5 weeks now! It seems like yesterday to us all that we stepped onto an airplane to bring our son home, but it also feels like we have lived a lifetime in those 6 weeks! Here are just a few places we have gone, that we never would have gone had God not been in EVERY detail, in every minute, in each raw and challenging moment, in every smile, in every laugh, in every joyous breakthrough - whew! God is GOOD, and to Him be the glory for this story that He has created through us and for us to tell :)
OH, THE PLACES YOU WILL GO...
Ethiopia to home (September 9-September 14)
Ethiopia to home (September 9-September 14)
--a total of 34 hours of being on airplanes with a 5 year old, who slept for 11 hours :)
--a goodbye ceremony with coffee, popcorn and bread at the orphanage to say goodbye to the care workers and children that were our son's world for the last 6 months of his life... sniff, sniff
--Asher's tears, and the tears of a few friends, as we left the orphanage, quite likely never to return again, but oh such a brave little guy to leave with the family God ordained us to be
--a traditional Ethiopian dinner at Alemu's home -- complete with a good goat slaughter to celebrate the Ethiopian New Year. Always room in my life for more firsts, but I hope there isn't a second like that one - hmmmm, it was interesting...
--with Alemu (the AAI adoption manager in Ethiopia), our last opportunity to communicate with our son in his language: Tell him we love him; tell him he will be called Asher, when we get to America; tell him he has brothers and a family who love him all ready; tell him he will be going on an airplane to America to live with us; tell him a whole family, church, school and town love him
--with Alemu (the AAI adoption manager in Ethiopia), our last opportunity to communicate with our son in his language: Tell him we love him; tell him he will be called Asher, when we get to America; tell him he has brothers and a family who love him all ready; tell him he will be going on an airplane to America to live with us; tell him a whole family, church, school and town love him
--the excitement in a little boy's eyes to go on an airplane but then the shear fear and panic in his eyes, as the reality of what crossing that airport threshold really means... broke us both to see that look of fear in the eyes of our son and knowing it was because of us and the crazy unknown that was making him look so afraid
--the 4 hours waiting in line at the check-in counter at the airport, because the computers went down 2 times due to power outages. JJ had to hold Asher the entire 4 hours, as Asher was too afraid to be in this airport "on his own"
--a renewed/strengthened love for my husband, as I saw him in a whole new light on this trip. He had to care for Asher's every need, because it is my husband that Asher continually wanted for everything. I could see the love in my husband's eyes grow, and I could see God's peace, as he cared so lovingly for our scared, sweet peanut. That is a good look for my husband :) I had to praise God, because this adoption seed was planted in my heart first. JJ came to this calling a bit later in the picture, and now, he was the parent Asher wanted to bond to first - God is good. Love the man I am with!!!
--a renewed/strengthened love for my husband, as I saw him in a whole new light on this trip. He had to care for Asher's every need, because it is my husband that Asher continually wanted for everything. I could see the love in my husband's eyes grow, and I could see God's peace, as he cared so lovingly for our scared, sweet peanut. That is a good look for my husband :) I had to praise God, because this adoption seed was planted in my heart first. JJ came to this calling a bit later in the picture, and now, he was the parent Asher wanted to bond to first - God is good. Love the man I am with!!!
--Soooo many tears in the middle of the night on a crowded airplane, as I grieved leaving African soil for quite possibly the last time in our lives. I grieved for our son, sleeping soundly between my husband and I: his loss of culture, his loss of language, his loss of biological family, his loss of everything familiar, his loss of people, his loss of identity. Had we done what was right, and it was too late to turn back now! Oh the places we will go...
--Touching down on American soil in DC and really feeling for the first time that we were truly a family... in our familiar surroundings. This was real and oh so exciting. Seeing my aunt at the DC airport - our first family to see us as a family. God had turned my mourning into joy!
--The last leg home from DC to see our awaiting family and friends in GR. Asher not wanting to get off of that plane. What was our brave peanut thinking at this moment? Oh my goodness, we were almost HOME!!!
--I could't wait to see our boys and have them meet their new brother for the first time... a brother they could only pray about and think about in their minds by looking at our trip pictures and a few videos. What were they thinking - oh, I longed to hug them and pull them close, as I missed them so much in being apart from them for a second time in 3 months.
--the amazing support of family and friends waiting at the airport to see our new family. Tears, joy, disbelief, and then, a little boy overwhelmed by travel and the whole ordeal, who tried to run back up the runway. JJ chasing after him, met with kicking feet and flailing arms - what a great picture of Jesus pursuing us - running toward us, as we kick and scream, but HE will NOT leave us as orphans!
--a scared and quiet little boy, as he hid in the corner of our garage, tears streaming down his face, when we finally made it home, not wanting to move and then a break for the open road. He ran with all of his might down the road, with our boys running after him. Where was he going? It was so sad to just watch him run and know there was nowhere but our home, a foreign place, that he was attached to at that very moment
--after 45 minutes in a closed garage, our boys trying desperately to coax their brother into their home, our home, with food, stuffed animals and toys, so that Asher would walk into our home of his own free-will; we eventually carried him into our home in our arms, kicking and screaming. He wanted no part, until he saw a picture of himself and several other pictures of he and his orphanage friends on our walls some time later, along with the pictures of our family. He was a part of our world. The fight or flight survival walls began to come down
--our boys put in the movie Nemo, bc that movie was played at the orphanage. We thought maybe that would be familiar and a way in. Our boys brought him a stuffed Nemo, and that did it. The walls were down a bit more, and our 4 sons sat under one blanket on the couch and watched Nemo together. Our son was preparing himself to see our home as his home, too
--the first night having Asher under our roof at bed time. A frightened little boy wanting his bedroom light on, flashlights in his hands and my husband sleeping on his floor until he fell asleep... Exhausted, Asher submitted to sleep. Praise the Lord, our family was complete! Oh, the places you will go.
The last 5 weeks HOME
--the first week home, our boys slept in the basement on cots, because Asher screamed and cried at bedtime every night (at one point, all of our sons were crying for the possible reality that they'd never sleep again or ever be in their own beds, out of sadness that Asher was so scared, out of fear that Asher didn't know Jesus yet to calm his heart - oh the places they will go), or he would get up in the middle of the night. The time change was a difficult adjustment for him. At 3:30am, it was 10:30am in Ethiopia, so he'd turn on all of the lights in the house to play... oh the exhaustion that first few weeks for all of us
--6-vial blood draw, 4 vaccines, and 3 stool samples, BUT a healthy little boy. Per our home study parameters, we would have been okay with a child that had minor correctable health issues, so, praise the Lord that Asher is one healthy child!
--God's amazing hand in creating a little boy's mind to acquire language at a crazy pace each day -- being able to communicate his wants, needs and desires by the end of 4 weeks with us in his broken, cute accented way. With who knows what kind of nourishment Asher received his first few months and years of life, we can ONLY attribute his amazing mind to God's hand in preparing Asher for our family, even in those early years -- truly miraculous
--a child I had prayed for and was called by God to pursue first in my heart and then as a picture and then as a breathing, living, God-created little child, the last 2 years of my life, for the first few weeks home did not trust me nor want anything to do with me. That was tremendously challenging to my ego, to my heart, to my existence as a Mom! Asher bonded so quickly with my husband and our 3 sons, so I could see glimpses of what Asher could be like: sweet, affectionate, cuddly, fun, etc. I only got the cold shoulder, purposeful anger, and very physical behavior - kicking, defiance, screams, and pinching. He also ran away frequently. God, is this the place you want he and I to go? Please help us like one another!
--for the first 2 weeks home, I wanted to quit. I was done being assaulted physically, emotionally and, quite honestly, spiritually. I was home with a child all day long that did not want me, only wanted the people in his life that weren't home at that moment, when I was right in front of him. I felt abandoned and like this was going to be what my world would look like from now on. It was a dark place for both Asher and I, but, for Asher, life got better at 3:30pm each day, when his brothers came home and his father came home shortly after that. For me, it just seemed to get lonelier at that time, because the people that loved me had to nurture Asher's needs, not my own, so... Oh, the places you will go!
--Oh, I prayed over Asher and I, as did so many of you! God had to take me to my knees to gain the strength and lesson that this story, this child, our family of 6 was NOT about me. This is God's story, Sara; it's about Asher; it is about our family of 6; it is about our boys; it is about our marriage; it is about a community of friends and family that has prayed us through the last 2 years. When I released that issue to God's control, our relationship leapt forward from the dark into the light. Praise God how far He took us at that point
--Asher still favors JJ over me (which is so good, since JJ works full time, and I am home with him and can continue working on things between he and I), but, with the remaining week before school started last week, Asher let me: kiss his cheek, put him to bed, dress him, bathe him, make him food other than macaroni and cheese - lol (sounds small but that is a big trust leap), play with him, sit along side of him on the couch, rub his back, take him places in the car, etc. I felt like a mom again - yay! Our relationship is slower to bear fruit, but, even a small taste of that fruit feels AMAZING!
--Asher started school this past week... kindergarten! We are grateful for a Christian school, teachers that understand our situation and Asher's, love on him like we would, and see to his every need. His class and teacher(s) are amazing, and you can just feel and see the love his classmates have for the new guy in class. They are ALL Asher's new friends! We are changing Asher's birth year to make him younger than his birth certificate states, based on a dental exam, a pediatrician exam and our gut instincts about him. Why wouldn't we buy him a year of time, growth, and development, if we can? So, he will do kindergarten this year, and then, he will repeat it again next year - what a gift!
--he can string primitive sentences together; he is excited to see me at lunch to pick him up; he can write "A", "S", and "H" of his name; he can sing the whole ABC song on his own; he can count to 8; he can draw very detailed stick people; he can draw the sun and a kite. I'd say that is a pretty amazing first week of school!
Seeing each family member stretch for God's kingdom in their unique way has been so great to witness. Carson, our 11 year old, for example, who said he felt badly that he couldn't cry at our homecoming at the airport, said (according to his teacher who emailed me this, because I dare say, Carson wouldn't have shared - HA) during a class discussion last week in Bible about the story of Abraham and Isaac, that he knew that God was calling our family to something really challenging and difficult in waiting for Asher, but that the obedience we showed to God in waiting brought us the blessing of Asher!! Oh, the places our children are going for HIS kingdom! Oh.my.word, people, this is good stuff!
Asher runs away less. He is less physical with us. He may sleep with all of his lights on, under his sheets (because that was a warming tactic at the orphanage), and with 2 flashlights, but he kisses us goodnight and stays in his own bed, sleeping through the entire night. He tries so desperately to talk more and more to us each day to fit into our world/his new world. He continues to open up with me, as the walls around both of our hearts crumble slowly but surely.
What an amazing little boy to put behind him his past, with the abandonment of his earthly father and take up residence with his new family that will teach him about his Heavenly Father!! Oh, the places Asher has all ready gone. Oh, the places he will continue to go in God's plan for his life! To God be the GLORY!
Blessings!
--after 45 minutes in a closed garage, our boys trying desperately to coax their brother into their home, our home, with food, stuffed animals and toys, so that Asher would walk into our home of his own free-will; we eventually carried him into our home in our arms, kicking and screaming. He wanted no part, until he saw a picture of himself and several other pictures of he and his orphanage friends on our walls some time later, along with the pictures of our family. He was a part of our world. The fight or flight survival walls began to come down
--our boys put in the movie Nemo, bc that movie was played at the orphanage. We thought maybe that would be familiar and a way in. Our boys brought him a stuffed Nemo, and that did it. The walls were down a bit more, and our 4 sons sat under one blanket on the couch and watched Nemo together. Our son was preparing himself to see our home as his home, too
--the first night having Asher under our roof at bed time. A frightened little boy wanting his bedroom light on, flashlights in his hands and my husband sleeping on his floor until he fell asleep... Exhausted, Asher submitted to sleep. Praise the Lord, our family was complete! Oh, the places you will go.
The last 5 weeks HOME
--the first week home, our boys slept in the basement on cots, because Asher screamed and cried at bedtime every night (at one point, all of our sons were crying for the possible reality that they'd never sleep again or ever be in their own beds, out of sadness that Asher was so scared, out of fear that Asher didn't know Jesus yet to calm his heart - oh the places they will go), or he would get up in the middle of the night. The time change was a difficult adjustment for him. At 3:30am, it was 10:30am in Ethiopia, so he'd turn on all of the lights in the house to play... oh the exhaustion that first few weeks for all of us
--6-vial blood draw, 4 vaccines, and 3 stool samples, BUT a healthy little boy. Per our home study parameters, we would have been okay with a child that had minor correctable health issues, so, praise the Lord that Asher is one healthy child!
--God's amazing hand in creating a little boy's mind to acquire language at a crazy pace each day -- being able to communicate his wants, needs and desires by the end of 4 weeks with us in his broken, cute accented way. With who knows what kind of nourishment Asher received his first few months and years of life, we can ONLY attribute his amazing mind to God's hand in preparing Asher for our family, even in those early years -- truly miraculous
--a child I had prayed for and was called by God to pursue first in my heart and then as a picture and then as a breathing, living, God-created little child, the last 2 years of my life, for the first few weeks home did not trust me nor want anything to do with me. That was tremendously challenging to my ego, to my heart, to my existence as a Mom! Asher bonded so quickly with my husband and our 3 sons, so I could see glimpses of what Asher could be like: sweet, affectionate, cuddly, fun, etc. I only got the cold shoulder, purposeful anger, and very physical behavior - kicking, defiance, screams, and pinching. He also ran away frequently. God, is this the place you want he and I to go? Please help us like one another!
--for the first 2 weeks home, I wanted to quit. I was done being assaulted physically, emotionally and, quite honestly, spiritually. I was home with a child all day long that did not want me, only wanted the people in his life that weren't home at that moment, when I was right in front of him. I felt abandoned and like this was going to be what my world would look like from now on. It was a dark place for both Asher and I, but, for Asher, life got better at 3:30pm each day, when his brothers came home and his father came home shortly after that. For me, it just seemed to get lonelier at that time, because the people that loved me had to nurture Asher's needs, not my own, so... Oh, the places you will go!
--Oh, I prayed over Asher and I, as did so many of you! God had to take me to my knees to gain the strength and lesson that this story, this child, our family of 6 was NOT about me. This is God's story, Sara; it's about Asher; it is about our family of 6; it is about our boys; it is about our marriage; it is about a community of friends and family that has prayed us through the last 2 years. When I released that issue to God's control, our relationship leapt forward from the dark into the light. Praise God how far He took us at that point
--Asher still favors JJ over me (which is so good, since JJ works full time, and I am home with him and can continue working on things between he and I), but, with the remaining week before school started last week, Asher let me: kiss his cheek, put him to bed, dress him, bathe him, make him food other than macaroni and cheese - lol (sounds small but that is a big trust leap), play with him, sit along side of him on the couch, rub his back, take him places in the car, etc. I felt like a mom again - yay! Our relationship is slower to bear fruit, but, even a small taste of that fruit feels AMAZING!
--Asher started school this past week... kindergarten! We are grateful for a Christian school, teachers that understand our situation and Asher's, love on him like we would, and see to his every need. His class and teacher(s) are amazing, and you can just feel and see the love his classmates have for the new guy in class. They are ALL Asher's new friends! We are changing Asher's birth year to make him younger than his birth certificate states, based on a dental exam, a pediatrician exam and our gut instincts about him. Why wouldn't we buy him a year of time, growth, and development, if we can? So, he will do kindergarten this year, and then, he will repeat it again next year - what a gift!
--he can string primitive sentences together; he is excited to see me at lunch to pick him up; he can write "A", "S", and "H" of his name; he can sing the whole ABC song on his own; he can count to 8; he can draw very detailed stick people; he can draw the sun and a kite. I'd say that is a pretty amazing first week of school!
Seeing each family member stretch for God's kingdom in their unique way has been so great to witness. Carson, our 11 year old, for example, who said he felt badly that he couldn't cry at our homecoming at the airport, said (according to his teacher who emailed me this, because I dare say, Carson wouldn't have shared - HA) during a class discussion last week in Bible about the story of Abraham and Isaac, that he knew that God was calling our family to something really challenging and difficult in waiting for Asher, but that the obedience we showed to God in waiting brought us the blessing of Asher!! Oh, the places our children are going for HIS kingdom! Oh.my.word, people, this is good stuff!
Asher runs away less. He is less physical with us. He may sleep with all of his lights on, under his sheets (because that was a warming tactic at the orphanage), and with 2 flashlights, but he kisses us goodnight and stays in his own bed, sleeping through the entire night. He tries so desperately to talk more and more to us each day to fit into our world/his new world. He continues to open up with me, as the walls around both of our hearts crumble slowly but surely.
What an amazing little boy to put behind him his past, with the abandonment of his earthly father and take up residence with his new family that will teach him about his Heavenly Father!! Oh, the places Asher has all ready gone. Oh, the places he will continue to go in God's plan for his life! To God be the GLORY!
Blessings!
